Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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