what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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