he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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