That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
