Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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