i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
