What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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