I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
