I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
