Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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