I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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