I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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