Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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