it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize