When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
