I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
