I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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