I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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