Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
