And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
