I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
