idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
