Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
