I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
