just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
