Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I met the friendliest cop last night
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
