Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
