I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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