she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
