if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
