a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
