why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
