you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His nipple licking is glorious
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