I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize