Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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