Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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