yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
