Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
