Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
