sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
