I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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