once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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