she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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