I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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