I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
