Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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