i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
