Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize