How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
