yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
