i think my tv is drunk
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
