i would punch a child for taco bell
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
should my penis look like a turkey
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
