Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
