she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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