Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
too bad you live with your parents still
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
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My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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