i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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