I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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