I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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