Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
