is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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