She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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