margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
