covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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