Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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