She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i think my cat just said my name.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
