so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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